We men tend to get our priorities mixed up sometimes. We can be passionately devoted to our work, our hobbies and our favorite sports teams and still neglect the priorities that should matter most.

Being a great husband is difficult. It’s much easier to coast through marriage on autopilot and settle for things being “ok” when our wives and kids need and deserve so much more from us. I’m writing this as a follow up to a post I wrote called How to be a Great Wife and I intentionally saved the husbands for last, because I truly believe that most problems in marriage are the husband’s responsibility. I promise I’m not writing this to beat up on my fellow bros out there; I’m writing this is a call to action.

We need to “Man Up” and love our wives and kids the way they deserve to be loved. I’m not just writing this to you, but i’m writing this as a guy who needs a daily reminder of all these things myself! Here’s how we do it…

1. Love your wife passionately and selflessly.

Your wife needs to know that you adore her. She needs to know that she is and always will be your Dream Girl! By your words and your actions, show her your love and commitment. The Bible calls us to love our wives like Jesus loves the Church and in case you don’t know the story, Jesus willingly died a torturous death for His church. If you’re willing to love your wife with that same kind of passionate, selfless love, your marriage will drastically improve.

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her” Ephesians 5:25

2. Protect your wife.

Your wife should feel that the safest place on earth is to be by your side. She needs to feel safe emotionally, physically and financially. She needs to know that you’ll protect her and honor by the words you speak about her and the words you allow (or don’t allow) others to speak about her. She needs to know that you’re not keeping any secrets from her that would break her trust in you. She needs to know you’d die for her if it came to that.

3. Stop acting like a kid.

Your wife doesn’t need to ever feel like you’re just another kid she’s raising. Don’t avoid responsibility, but pursue it! Stop playing video games, and looking at porn, and knowing more about your fantasy football players than you know about your own kids and making the same adolescent mistakes you made as a teenager. It’s time to be a man. Our kids are watching us and by our own example we are showing our sons how to treat women and showing our daughters what they should expect from men!

4. Communicate.

Communication is vital to a healthy marriage and most of us guys avoid it like the plague. Make it a priority to have uninterrupted conversations with your wife. Turn off your smartphone and talk to your wife! When you listen to her and respond with thoughtfulness and respect, it displays your love and appreciation for her.

5. Create romance outside the bedroom.

Most of us men see sex as our primary need in marriage and romance and affection are things we’ll reluctantly give if we think we’ll be rewarded with sex. You need to change the way you think. Pursue her just because you love her. Be spontaneous, affectionate and romantic and do all the things you did to first win her heart, but do it all with no expectation of sex afterwards. If you do that consistently, every aspect of your marriage will improve (including your sex life).

What is a home?

A home is  a place where an individual family stay or live. In a home there are setup rules to be followed by the whole household. The rules are normally said or laid down by the father for the smooth rinning of the family. Without those setup rules the home will be in total choas, everyone and anyone will be doing whatever they think is right, resulting in serious confusion in the home.

A home should have a conducive and peaceful atmosphere where every looks forward to go.

A  family is the plan of God. God begins with man, and He gave man to run the world. But before man ran the world God gave man to run the family. 1 Timothy 3:4 "...one who rules his house well, having his children submitting with all reverance..." v 5, "...if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?...."

When you run a family or a company, all the people that you lead depend no you. Therefore, a wise man should think of his family, and you need to be a wise man to understand your family.

• Place your relationship with Jesus Christ as the foundation of your marriage.

1 Peter 2:6b And he who believes in him will not be disappointed.

• Husbands, give your wife a hug and kiss at least three times a day.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

• Husbands, before marriage, have your eyes wide open; after marriage, you may have to keep them half closed!

Proverbs 4:7 Never walk away from Wisdom—she guards your life; love her—she keeps her eye on you… Throw your arms around her—believe me, you won't regret it; never let her go—she'll make your life glorious.

• Without being asked to do so, surprise your wife by making her a special snack or lunch and deliver it to her.

1 Corinthians 7:3 Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other…

• When your wife is doing some chore around the house (laundry, cutting the grass :-), etc.), stop her and say, “Thank you for your hard work: I love you for it!”

Proverbs 31:27 Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: "Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"

• If you ever raise your voice in the heat of an argument, you must apologize for your lack of self control and insensitivity!

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

• Every day, pay a compliment to your wife for something she does, rather than focusing your attention on her faults.

Ephesians 4:2b Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

• Want to have some extra “alone time” with your wife? Help her with the dishes every night!

Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.

• Watch out for temptation; the more you see it, the better it looks.  

Mark 14:38 Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

• The best aphrodisiac a husband can use is to actively listen to his wife, as he gazes intently into her eyes.  

Proverbs 4:25 Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.

Headship is a sticky issue; just mentioning it can get folks uptight. This is probably because in the past some have misused scriptures about headship to make women second-class members of the Body of Christ. Years of abuse have made the parts of the Bible which discuss God's intended structure for marriage too hot to handle for some. Avoiding the issue altogether is tempting, but rather than run from it, we need to find and proclaim God's truth.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, Ephesians 5:25

In both the Old and the New Testaments of the Bible, God uses the husband and wife relationship to explain His relationship with us, His people. I find the idea that I should treat my wife as Jesus treats the church to be both instructive and VERY challenging. I'm supposed to emulate the perfect Christ, while my wife is to emulate the very imperfect church... now who has the worse end of THAT deal?!? I might never be able to love and care for my wife the way Jesus loves and cares for me, but the fact that I should, helps me understand who I am to be as husband and head.

Why I'm the head: I must understand that I'm not the head because I am smarter, better, or otherwise superior to her in any way. My headship is positional; I'm the head because God said so, not because I deserve it in any way. Just as Jesus, who was equal to God in all ways, submitted to the Father, so our wives, who are equal to us in all ways eternal, are called to submit to us. God is a God of order, and He requires us to submit to the order He created. When we do this, things work well; when we don't, things end up a mess. While men are not the head because they are better in any way, God always equips us to do that which He calls us to; thus a man who seeks to be the head of his marriage and household will be empowered by God to do the job beyond his own natural ability.

Why being the head makes me a servant: Some think being the head makes a man "the boss" who can do what he wants and demand what he wants. This is not what God calls us to as the head. When we look at Jesus, we see that He was a servant leader. He never demanded or forced His will, even when He knew those around Him were wrong. Jesus was actually rejected by many Jews because He came to serve, not to rule. Likewise we as husbands are called to serve our wives, not rule them. Yes, we are to lead, but it's a leadership based on willing following, not on coercion, force or fear.A while back a couple from some church were discussing plans for their wedding day. One partner suggested taking Communion, and this prompted another to suggest foot washing. One then said "Yeah, my wives can wash my feet" and the wife joined in approvingly. But they had it backwards!! Jesus washed the disciples' feet, not the other way around. In Jesus' time it was customary to have a servant wash the guest’s feet when they came into the house (sandals and dirt roads, you understand). Foot washing was assigned to the lowest servant in the house, so Jesus wasn't just playing the role of a servant, He was being the lowest of the low. As husbands we are called to wash the feet of our wives, not have her wash our feet.

How God calls me to lead: It's not about doing it my way, and it's not about doing it her way. Try thinking of it as being the head of the marriage; the goal is not to rule her, but to guide and direct "us" as a couple. Sometimes what's best for the marriage happens to be what I'd like; sometimes it happens to be what she'd like; sometimes it's something that neither of us really wants to do. In short, it's not what either of us wants, it's about what God wants.

How God calls me to lead: It's not about doing it my way, and it's not about doing it her way. Try thinking of it as being the head of the marriage; the goal is not to rule her, but to guide and direct "us" as a couple. Sometimes what's best for the marriage happens to be what I'd like; sometimes it happens to be what she'd like; sometimes it's something that neither of us really wants to do. In short, it's not what either of us wants, it's about what God wants.

Why I'm a fool if I ignore my wife's input: Okay, fool is a strong word, but what else would you call someone who makes decisions without getting all the information? My wife has a different perspective than I do, and that perspective can be extremely valuable. I should not only listen to my wife, I should seek her thoughts and feelings before I make decisions. Peter suggests that men who don't pay attention to their wives are crippling themselves in more ways than one:Husbands, likewise, dwell with them withunderstanding, giving honor to the wife,... that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Why being the head doesn't entitle me to demand anything: Free will is real big with God; He even gave us the free will to reject Him and His love. If God gave us that kind of free will with Him, how could He expect anything less in our relationships with other humans? Its one thing to tell my wife what I think should be done, but I see no scriptural support for demanding or forcing her to comply. Jesus never treated people that way, so how can I treat my wife that way?I'm responsible to lead; I'm not responsible for her following. When the Church fails to follow the Lord, does that mean Jesus has failed? NO!! Similarly, I'm not a failure if my wife chooses not to follow what I say. That's between her and God; it's not my place to make her comply, and it's not my place to take punitive measures.Being the head is not the cushy perk-filled job some men and women think it is, at least not if we do it God's way. I understand the men who abdicate their duty as head; headship is just plain hard! Still, we're called to do it, and we'll be judged for our obedience or lack of obedience. Failing to be the head God called us to be brings a curse on us and our entire family, but obedience brings blessings to all. As I walk in it, He is with me, guiding me. When I'm not sure how I should proceed, I always think about what Jesus would do with the Church; He is my example and guide.