Affection is the expression of love with hugs, kisses, cards, flowers, and the words, "I love you." Affection is not only expressed in marriage, it is also expressed to your children, and even your parents.  It is our way of telling people that we care for them and that we will be there for them when they need us.

 

 

Both men and women need to know they are loved. But women seem to need affection, the expression of love, more often than men. That's why men usually don't show it as often as women need. But any man can learn to do it as often as his wife wants him to. In any home, it is of high importance to create an environment of affection, where a wife is reminded continuously that she is loved and cared for.

 

 

Sex, on the other hand, is an entirely different need than affection. While it also should be met in marriage, sex and affection should not be confused. Many men, particularly those who do not have much of a need for affection, use affection as an opportunity for sex.

 

They show affection whenever they make love, but not at other times. This causes their wives to react with resentment. Most women feel used when their husbands are affectionate only when they want sex.

 

 

Affection is something you can do with your parents or children as well as your spouse. It is not sex. While you may also be affectionate when you make love, sex should be a special event in an environment of affection. Affection is something that's learned. Some men (and women) who were raised in families that did not show affection are taught how to show affection by their girlfriends or wives. But other men have never been taught.

 

 

Whenever I talk to men who are not very affectionate, I suggest to them a couple of things to do every day that could culture them into affectionate husbands and lovers. They must do them and check off the list as they does it. Here is a general example.

 

 

• Hug and kiss your wife and tell her you love her first thing every morning while you're still in bed. Rub her back for a few minutes before you get up.

 

 

• Tell her that you love her while you are having breakfast together.

 

 

• Kiss her and tell her you love her before you leave for work.

 

 

• Call her during the day to ask how she is doing and that you love her.

 

 

• After work, call her before you leave to tell her when you will be home, and tell her you love her.

 

 

• Buy her flowers periodically, with a card that tells her how much you love her.

 

 

• When you arrive home from work, give her a big hug and kiss and spend a few minutes talking to her about how her day went. Don't do anything else before you have given her your undivided attention.

 

 

• Tell her that you love her as you are having dinner together.

 

 

• Help her clear off the table and wash and dry the dishes with her(if she is the one supposed to be doing it), giving her a hug and kiss at least once, and tell her that you love her.

 

 

• While you are preparing to sleep, pray with her whilst you are hugging her then kiss her and tell her you love her in bed before you both go to sleep.

 

 

This exercise in affection is not fake. It is real. Some husbands really do love their wives and whenever they express that love, it is real. The problem is that they have not learned to express how they really feel. This exercise simply teaches them how to show their wives the care that they've felt all along.